CINE SINNER
DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPHER
Photographed by VCR Creatives LLC
Originally from Chicago, Josh developed an interest in photography later in life. Almost two years ago, he bought his first camera and wasn't sure where to go from there. He learned the workings of the camera and the rules of photography through a couple of weeks with long days studying on Youtube, taking photos of his plants, family, his furniture, all to see how it worked. Josh felt he was ready to tackle the ideas in his head.
People always interested Josh. How they moved, interacted, what they looked like on good days and bad days. What was the difference between the face they showed in public versus the face they wore at home? He began with street photography, but a life-long anxiety disorder reared its head and told him that this wasn't the best idea. It wasn't until a friend asked for their portrait to be taken, that Josh felt something ignite in him.
An entire lifetime of images and ideas began to seem more clear and vivid, now that he had a way to express them. It only took one portrait session for Josh to feel as though this was what he was meant to be doing. It was truly the first thing in his life that he felt passionate about pursuing. The subject matter also felt very easy to place. Two things that were always swept under the rug by society were mental health and human sexuality. Josh saw these as things that should be shown and embraced, something that is as integral to the human experience as anything else.
Over the following two years, Josh has enjoyed meeting many wonderful people from all walks of life, but has found a stronger calling to alternative lifestyles, from tattoo artists to dominatrixes and shibari artists. It has been an amazing two years, and Josh looks forward to digging further into the themes of mental health and sexuality, feeling as though he has lost the training wheels and larger series and ideas do not seem out of reach. It is about to get messy, in all of the best ways.
Where are you from?
Born and raised in Chicago, and came out here in 2016. Lived in the Springs until we moved to Fort Collins 4 years ago.
How did you develop a passion for photography?
I've always had vivid ideas in my head since my early teen years. Thanks to anxiety and depression, they kept getting more and more vivid as time went on. I tried writing them out, but it lost its appeal. I tried painting them out, but I was a novice and got frustrated really easily. I finally got a camera about 22 months ago. I took street shots and my anxiety told me to piss off. Did a portrait shoot for a friend and realized I enjoyed it, that it got out one of the visuals I had had in my head. I haven't looked back and enjoy helping myself and others get those images out of their head and into a camera.
How would you describe your work? What general theme is your trademark?
Bright and cheery. Totally. Honestly, I love the idea of capturing emotion. Two strong emotions that always appeal to me are sadness or loneliness, and lust. We feel those throughout our lives frequently and always try and bury them. I tried burying sadness for a long time and it led me down avenues I wouldn't wish on anyone. This is a chance for me to work through my emotions, to help others confront things they are told by everyone else to bury or ignore or hide from the world. I love the bright, cheery, beautiful images I run across online and in books, but those aren't for me. I want to dig into the basement in my head and start rummaging.
What has been the biggest struggle in this pursuit?
Money. Imagine that! Money buys props, buys access to locations, buys backgrounds and helps build sets. I am stubborn as hell so if a lighting setup doesn't work, I will pick it apart until it makes sense to me. Using one light helps alleviate a lot of problems and removes a lot of visual clutter. If the person is struggling to pose well or feeling nervous, then we stop and chat some more. No one should ever feel anything like that for photos. I wouldn't be able to enjoy my work if they also didn't enjoy what came from it. Editing is just learning the tones and degrees of light and shadow that work for you. So most of the common issues I have found workarounds for. I still have struggles in those but that's the fun of learning. Money creates a hard gate you can't get past and I would imagine there's a lot of folks who stalled in their progression because things didn't get any cheaper.
How do you view the Colorado creative scene? How do you think we could all collectively improve it?
I think Colorado has a great mix of various talents. Musicians, painters, photographers, sculptors, mixed media folks, models, etc. I see constant flyers for weekly concerts, small business shopping events, multi-photographer and model events, and art shows. I do love that there is this eagerness to get out there and express yourself for others. I do believe it can be improved, having said all that. I have seen several instances of someone in one category, putting their peers down and trying to come out above the others. Humility will always be better than hubris. You aren't the first to do something, the best at it, or the worst. I'm not, no one is. We need to support our peers, encourage growth, and share the accolades that follow versus trying to hoard it all for ourselves in a competition that ultimately doesn't even matter. Making your art is what matters.
Where do you pull inspiration? Who are your muses? ( that can reach to any art from like if music inspires you, or a particular artist, even films if that's what inspires you)
Oh boy. I saw images over the years but never knew who they belonged to until I was doing this. Daido Moriyama is a Japanese street photographer and I believe my love of grit and grime come from him. Olga Karlovac is a street photographer who uses a slow shutter to capture somber but beautiful images with motion. Frank Ockenfels is one that was pointed out to me by another photographer when they saw my work. I quickly opened his book and was blown away. It's like reading an unstable mind with images to corroborate. It sounds off but its honestly beautiful how raw and transparent his work is. Oh, and horror films. Have to say those as well because I grew up on those and it's no surprise that the shadow heavy, dread-infused scenery made a lasting impression on me. As for Colorado, I have to saw I love the craziness in Vundrr's work. Jonny Edwards is a master at constant light and a painterly approach to portraits. Grace Briggs I see going places with her bold colors. Roxie is fantastic with her bare flash fashion approaches. Drew in the Springs is going to be a big one with his colored lights, I know it. There are a metric shit ton I am forgetting, and I'll kick myself about that later, but it's been wonderful to see their work on a regular basis.
What is your creative process from start to finish?
I have a few notepads littered with ideas. Dreams, anxiety thoughts, depression scenery, movie scenes that had my mind going, things like that. I take the image, and the more I roll it around in my head, the more it changes, almost like playing with clay. At some point, the image feels structured and having the values I want to place into it. I take the idea and reach out to some of the fantastic people I've shot with and see who would be game. When someone comes to me for a shoot but isn't sure what idea they want, I'll ask them what emotion or aesthetic they want to aim for. Whatever the answer is, we start building it together. I think collaboration is one of the most important things you can do with a model/client/friend. I want both of us in the images, to show the work and purpose behind two people in this case, not just me. Sometimes the ideas are easy to play with, sometimes they are a bit more rough. In those times, I will surf Pinterest and try to find reference images that match the small bits they've told me and see if visualizing something will help them get a more precise idea. Shoots are a casual affair. It's two people hanging out, and one has a camera. I also say that my comfort is their comfort. If we discussed it prior, but day of, the idea seems hard for them to do, then we scrap it. I never want anyone uncomfortable at a shoot. Its a horrible feeling and I will avoid that at all costs. I want to hear their ideas. I have mine, I know mine, but what are they thinking while posing that way, or how their hair is falling, or how the outfit is draped on them? I love hearing their ideas as they form and we can play around with so much more. I always have my main shot list in my head but adding to that list is always a fun spontaneous thing to do as well. After the shoot, I hate editing. I really, really do. I use Capture One now instead of Lightroom. I try and get as much as I can in camera, so when I go to edit, I can just pick the colors and adjust the highlights and shadows and be done. Some images need a bit more love than others, but I would say that most of my shoots have taken about 90 minutes to edit, total.
What are your core values and how does that apply to your craft?
Consent, comfort, never punch down. Consent is obvious, but if someone who doesn't like that term is reading this, well let's give them an overview. If I say something, and the person says no, it's a no. Not a way to squirm or find loopholes, it is just a no. That applies to outfits, ideas, poses, and obviously all of this is discussed prior to the shoot. I shoot a lot of implied as well as kink or fetish work. Consent is paramount there, but it should be just as important in a fashion or lifestyle or headshot session. Comfort means that I am here to help. It may be my idea, your idea, or our idea, but nerves should not limit you in the pursuit of those. I've had anxiety since I was about 12, and I'm 40 now. Nerves held me back from doing so much. Comfort before, during, and after the shoot are so damn important to me. The person is opening themselves up, being put into a vulnerable spot, and in a way, to "perform" the shoot idea. Those can be terrifying. That's why I talk so damn much. It's a conversation, not a spotlight. I'm there with them, and I appreciate them so much for being so bold and bad ass as to do this idea. Today's shoot is going to be my first portrait shoot with me in front. First time. I hope I can be as bad ass as all of the wonderful people I've shot with. Never punching down is just an overall value of mine. Punch up, at institutions, global assholes, corporations, etc. Never ever put your misery or problems on someone else because you view them as lesser. Not sure I have to expand on this one further since we have seen so much talk about this the past few years. I hope that all the knuckles go North.
If you could give a piece of advice to the younger generation who wants to pursue a creative future what would it be?
Suck. Absolutely suck. Ruin the picture, don't play the right chord, let your voice crack, mix your paints like shit. Be absolutely terrible, but know that you are terrible for that moment, and only that moment. The first three photos I ever took were of my Christmas tree, my dog, and my son. I was ready to throw the camera back in the box. Terrible, terrible photos. Now I would lose my mind if my cameras left me. Find people in your field that you admire, and reach out. Some will be assholes, some will be helpful, and some will become friends. I've had newer photographers reach out after a post and ask about the lighting, posing, set, my inspiration for it. I will always make time to talk to new folks because I get how lonely it can be to do it all on your own. Now, if any of these people showed up around me and said they wanted to grab a beer and chat, I'd be in the car and ready to go. Find your people, they will save your sanity from time to time. Maceo and Chappell in Oregon were the two to really save me, and I am always going to owe them a beer or two. Finally, experiment. Paint flowers, people, animals peeing on rugs, cacti. Play the blues, indie, metal, punk, light fucking jazz. Photograph garbage cans, beautiful people, hermits, sunsets, reflections of ugly buses on a boring street. Your eye loves certain things but it also hasn't seen the world fully. Explore it together and let it find beauty or meaning in things it didn't even know were there.
How do you see yourself expanding & growing this next year? What is your number one goal regarding to your work?
Ooof, a goal. To be totally honest, I would love a gallery. It would be a wonderful way to tell my brain that we did it, overcame the nasty neighbor in the back of my head, and did something on our own and through all the hell along the way. Hell I don't even care if two people show up at it. I want to stand there in a dumb turtleneck eating shitty cucumber sandwiches and drinking flat indie beer if it means that I can finally be proud of myself. I am my worst critic by far! This next year is a new year to meet more fantastic people to work with and I love that. Social media is a toilet so I don't have a lot of plans or hopes for that. I just hope I don't throw it out the window. Oh, and I want to start pursuing the educational space. I would love to help new photographers, help models on safety and consent, and how to work with harder lighting and more difficult shoot themes.
